My first thoughts as a matchmaker were, "I Bet They're All Single": I'm starting to think that Phd="Please Help me Date".
Now I know I threw in the "m" but you know what I mean. lol. Before you start getting pissed, I'm not here to insult these sisters because I applaude black intelligence. In fact, if you've been following me, you know I'm pro "black intellectualism" as it's gonna be the very thing to help our community return to it's greatness. Hell, they may all be married and if so, Hallelujah!
To me, black nerds are the creme of the crop because they've usually developed a deeper emotional intelligence (being ostracized, odd, or unusual does this) and are over looked by the average person which makes them a true gem. Not to mention, there are a huge segment that have low std rates and no baby mommas because no one wanted to have sex with them anyway. #RealLife I must admit, I've made a point of dating black nerds and even geeks. I'm a reformed geek myself turned artist with highly developed social skills. But what we have now is a generation of socially awkward, technology dependent adults with multiple degrees and ZERO GAME.
Game=An effective method of communicating with the opposite sex; the ability to screen/find quality dating candidates.
I've been matchmaking for a while now and I can remember seeing this tragically play out at singles events we hosted at some of Atlanta's coolest venues.
Singles Dance Party-Landon's Restaurant (Cascade)
Pre-Valentines Day Loft Mixer @ "Publik" in Midtown next to Fox
Loft Mixer in Theater District
Nerdy, Urban, Chic Summer Soiree (Ritz Carlton, Buckhead)
Ritz Carlton Singles Event (Nerdy, Urban, Chic)
Ritz Carlton
Me and executive Matchmaker, Karla Moore of NineGPS.com-After Work Mixer @ Publix
Mansion Mixer at the 5-Star Mandarin Hotel
Group Date at 8 event "Sexy Sub-Sahara" hosted at African restuarant
Group Date at 8 Event (Sexy Sub-Sahara)
My client demographic is Single Black & African Professionals (Women 33+ and Black & men 40+) These are individuals with disposal income and relatively successful in their given careers and have multiple business pursuits. I'm seeing dozens of sweet, well meaning women get played, and have terrible love experiences because their noses have been in the books- gaining no skills to navigate the dating scene and find a proper husband.
At singles events I hosted in the past, I would see brilliant black women get in front of gorgeous black men and totally BOMB. There would be sexy ambience, food, drinks, music, and they would literally have no conversation, poor body language, and strange, nervous vibes. Many times, they would even make poor style/beauty choices because they are completely in the dark about what appeals to the opposite sex. One time, I saw a Spellman Chemistry professor stare forward at a painting on a wall in total silence as we all sat in a circle eating Moroccan food at a group dating event a few summers back. There were some bad weaves, mismatched foundation, overweight bodies, cheap dresses and the list goes on in the history of our company's events. Our rosters were pre-screened and had strict appearance standards but there were times a few women slipped through the cracks and showed up to our luxury events looking a hot mess. This led to hosting Beauty Bootcamps, Full Image Consultations and Women Empowerment seminars. I saw there was a serious need for this and many of my sisters got information that many admitted never hearing before. Life can be very cruel and your friends, family will be the main people lying to you. I’ve found that the average human being lies and won’t tell you your weave sucks or your outfit looks terrible but I WILL.
Generally speaking, black women who have spent almost 8 years in school aren’t exactly the fashionista social butterfly types of the bunch and they for damn sure aren’t getting valuable experience in love, relationships or understanding the opposite sex. The love they do experience is by default because let’s face it, if you have a vagina, you’ll always be able to get some type of man even if he ain’t worth 2 dead flies smashed. I worked with a single black woman who was finishing her MBA, 42, no kids and just ended a terrible relationship with a man who had an addiction to CRACK.
It's important to note: She is overweight, makes unflattering make-up and style choices. This is not coincidence but speaks to the dating hierarchy no one wants to admit exists. One of the reasons I advocate having top physical appeal (men and women) is that it will give you access to a higher caliber of dating candidates and options. Single, wealthy, educated black men who are physically fit are not checking for obese black women that have sub par presentation, no matter how many degrees you have.
In this scenario with this single black woman- getting duped into a bad 3 year relationship by a crackhead tells me you missed some serious red flags along the way. She is no further to having children, or a healthy marriage to build a legacy and she is 42!!! In her defense, she was taking a course with me called "The 7 Types of Men"-The Art of Being A man Magnet http://seventypesofmen.doattend.com/ and admitted that she's usually aloof in most situations and doesn't notice things most people do. I’ve seen this trait in both male and female nerds alike. My heart was so heavy listening to this because she’s really a beautiful person that would make a great wife. I can tell she would be a loyal wife and be a nurturing mother. She has all the traits of a "nice girl" but NO GAME. All I could think was how she was getting dicked down by a crackhead for 3 whole years.
It takes more than this but these images I've provided are a great start to energetically releasing spirits you've picked up along the way. Most women don't realize they are delaying their perfect mate entertaining unfulfilling, toxic relationships with men that you KNOW is not your ideal match. This is what I refer to as "social clutter" and it blocks the path to receive your husband. Please understand I'm speaking from experience and I know this is a quick way to spread yourself thin especially if you have multiple sex partners. This is a huge reason black women are suffering with psychological issues, and undiagnosed mental illness. You've screwed so many men that all of them are still running around in your soul causing mental unrest and inner turmoil. I realize this is unpopular opinion but mental imbalance is on the rise in the black community and my empathic eyes see a a direct spiritual correlation to this and American whorehouse culture we've now subscribed to. Breaking soul ties is a very real thing and I'll do more posts about this.
(See past blog-"Breaking Soul Ties and Womb Cleansing for Beginners" Make Room for your mate) http://confessionsofasagartbodysoul.blogspot.com/2016/10/breaking-soul-ties-and-womb-cleansing.html
The truth is, I see this everywhere I turn in this society of educated, career driven black single professionals who are also hopelessly single. Since 2011, I have been saying that we are in a MAJOR SOCIAL EPIDEMIC and singles are struggling to connect. What I've also found is that these people develop a cynical outlook on love and go even deeper into the socially awkward hole. Which usually looks like finding more reasons to stay in school. I have a 60 year old uncle who never married or had kids. He also was never seen with a girlfriend but was always going to school. My uncle was my father figure in a lot of ways because he chipped in and helped my mom with financial responsibilities- paid for my music instruments, tuition and several expenses during my child/young adulthood. I loved him dearly but noticed he also had some socially awkward traits that eventually made me not want to be in his presence. First, he was super religious, critical and had a closed mindset. He was also a classic "windbag" meaning he would blab on and on without consideration of your thoughts. (See anti-seducer qualities in the book Art of Seduction) He had slight social anxiety-only going to places that were family oriented. I later learned that his orientation is known as "Asexual" Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality.
Developing social intelligence and knowledge of the opposite sex should be valued greater than any degree. Without this, you will bumble through the dating landscape and start lying to yourself with saying things like, “Men are intimidated by my success” , “Black men aren’t into smart women” and a bunch of other dumb feminist rhetoric a lot of my sisters have adopted. No sis, you have no mouthpiece, you are overweight, unappealing, have masculine energy, and lack feminine grace. You did NOT get your degree in that. It’s time to go to the next level and learn what will make you a great wife, mother and lover. SN: ALL of these women usually SUCK at oral sex (no pun intended)
(See #1 of The 3 Types of Women that give blow jobs) http://confessionsofasagartbodysoul.blogspot.com/2016/10/when-i-was-young-single-woman-in-my-20s.html
This is multi generational and we have social engineering , toxic generational curses in black love/relationships, and good ole feminism to thank for this. So I don't expect to completely address this in one post. But family, I have to be honest and just call a thing a thing and state the facts because I know what I see. We are OUT OF TIME and these are gonna be wonderful people that will bump their heads forever and most will die before they ever find true love.
For those of you in your fee fees and are offended, you already know, I don’t care. I work in the real world and I have no interest in telling lies to my people or clients at this point. Take a look....
With a little game, drastic style upgrade, fitness program, and a positive attitude, most of these hidden gems would be our best leaders and builders of society operating from a strong FAMILY UNIT. Our ancestors knew this was the key to our strength as a people. The family is the bedrock of a nation. All of these "accomplishments" are in vain if we don’t leave a legacy, create healthy black children and rebuild a new world.
(See past blog-"Breaking Soul Ties and Womb Cleansing for Beginners" Make Room for your mate) http://confessionsofasagartbodysoul.blogspot.com/2016/10/breaking-soul-ties-and-womb-cleansing.html
The truth is, I see this everywhere I turn in this society of educated, career driven black single professionals who are also hopelessly single. Since 2011, I have been saying that we are in a MAJOR SOCIAL EPIDEMIC and singles are struggling to connect. What I've also found is that these people develop a cynical outlook on love and go even deeper into the socially awkward hole. Which usually looks like finding more reasons to stay in school. I have a 60 year old uncle who never married or had kids. He also was never seen with a girlfriend but was always going to school. My uncle was my father figure in a lot of ways because he chipped in and helped my mom with financial responsibilities- paid for my music instruments, tuition and several expenses during my child/young adulthood. I loved him dearly but noticed he also had some socially awkward traits that eventually made me not want to be in his presence. First, he was super religious, critical and had a closed mindset. He was also a classic "windbag" meaning he would blab on and on without consideration of your thoughts. (See anti-seducer qualities in the book Art of Seduction) He had slight social anxiety-only going to places that were family oriented. I later learned that his orientation is known as "Asexual" Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality.
Developing social intelligence and knowledge of the opposite sex should be valued greater than any degree. Without this, you will bumble through the dating landscape and start lying to yourself with saying things like, “Men are intimidated by my success” , “Black men aren’t into smart women” and a bunch of other dumb feminist rhetoric a lot of my sisters have adopted. No sis, you have no mouthpiece, you are overweight, unappealing, have masculine energy, and lack feminine grace. You did NOT get your degree in that. It’s time to go to the next level and learn what will make you a great wife, mother and lover. SN: ALL of these women usually SUCK at oral sex (no pun intended)
(See #1 of The 3 Types of Women that give blow jobs) http://confessionsofasagartbodysoul.blogspot.com/2016/10/when-i-was-young-single-woman-in-my-20s.html
This is multi generational and we have social engineering , toxic generational curses in black love/relationships, and good ole feminism to thank for this. So I don't expect to completely address this in one post. But family, I have to be honest and just call a thing a thing and state the facts because I know what I see. We are OUT OF TIME and these are gonna be wonderful people that will bump their heads forever and most will die before they ever find true love.
For those of you in your fee fees and are offended, you already know, I don’t care. I work in the real world and I have no interest in telling lies to my people or clients at this point. Take a look....
With a little game, drastic style upgrade, fitness program, and a positive attitude, most of these hidden gems would be our best leaders and builders of society operating from a strong FAMILY UNIT. Our ancestors knew this was the key to our strength as a people. The family is the bedrock of a nation. All of these "accomplishments" are in vain if we don’t leave a legacy, create healthy black children and rebuild a new world.
Wow! I'm so glad I clicked on your post on Facebook. This is so true and timely. Thank you fam :)
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